Twice this week I have heard ideas or saw character designs that I wished I could work into the script.  Sadly they just don’t fit into the current story.

The first is the concept of “Blade-Witch” .  I love that name.  I am kicking myself for not thinking of it earlier.  I can just imagine some lady with some sort of telekinetic powers over bladed weapons of some such facing off against Bunny and depriving her of her favorite tool.  That would be fun.  Octobus, Blade-Witch, you guys come up with the best ideas.

The second character(s) I want to use but can’t are  related to the Dragon’s Crown controversy.  For those of you not keeping track Drangon’s Crown is a video game who has a character in it that is WAY over sexualized.  This is the Sorceress who is basically a jiggling mass of boobs and ass.  If you are curious you can see her in action here:

The argument is basically boiled down to one side saying “your objectifying women!” and the other side saying “of course we are, that’s how we sell the same fighting game from the 90’s over an over again”.  I am not going to weigh in on the argument because the Sorceress is not the character design I am interested in.  I am interested in the characters produced as part of the argument.

The website Escher Girls, a site dedicated to calling out the ridiculous portrayal of women, took on this issue and made something wonderful. As is a habit of their’s, they portrayed male characters in the same over sexualized way to confront the reader with the absurdity of it.  In this case they took the male characters from Dragon’s crown and did some manipulations on them to make them as sexualized as the Sorceress.

Except I thinks Escher Girls went off the rails of their stated mission, because these designs are freaking great.

I love the fighter with the large armored arms and then bare chest and effeminate face.  Throw in his MASSIVE bulge in that speedo he is wearing and that is one intimidating fighter.   I feel intimidated by him and a bit of inadequacy.  He’s like the Gauls who went into battle naked to intimidate their opponents.

The Wizard is gayer that Richard Simmons sweating to a Liberace/Village People mash up song, but that is sort of cool in it’s own right.  Wizards are away portrayed as a little asexual denying the world of the flesh for the world of knowledge.  Why not go all the way with it.

And then there is the Dwarf.  Oh god the Dwarf.  I will be having nightmares about the Dwarf.  If a dwarf was trying to strike fear into his opponents this is how he would dress.   And here’s the thing.  They changed the dwarf very little:

But the simple addition of nipple ring and a bulging peakabo leather speedo not only seems very dwarf like but just takes the character over the top into sheer unadulterated awesome.

So there you have it.  In an attempt to demonstrate the evils of objectification Escher Girl instead demonstrated how it adds some much to a character. I so want to use these characters in some way but just can work them in.   Oh well.  Maybe next time.